• Patchy McGoblin

Empyraeum Art Showcase



Just a small sniff, a nibble of the rat's tail, sort of thing.


When I was approached, in the quiet of me studio, among me paints, me pigments, brushes and assorted panapoly of me painter's art, and presented with this thinking box, I admit that I would have scratched me head in consternation had that not meant removing my fine and perfectly serviceable beret, which I does not do, even when sleeping. Yon'd have more luck asking me to be a-shaving off this shiny example of moustachiness what I is sporting on mine lip first!


At first I admit, seemed odd to be painting on a screen when yon'd have to just wash it off afterwards. T'was then young Ferdy, who is a shiny dwarf with a beard I would love to possess, explained of to me the workings of yon box of wonders, demostrating of to me the finer mechanisms thereof. I confess to being subjected to much wonderment and thoughts of a nature that, if this wee silky-bearded fella can do it, how could I not?


Me first efforts were, I'm as honest a goblin as a rat is a rat, not of an altogether satisfactory nature but, fer purposes of getting it out there - as the bat said unto the other bat - it served to be shiny right enough. Affer a bit, I found the hang of it and was producing as quality, if no better, than I had wi' brush an' canvas. Ah weel, I found there were wee tricky-poos I could be doing what were impossible on me old fashion o' things in fact!


T'was then that me art began to flow out of me faster than shite out of a rat who'd et a bowl a manky rice. Me fellows had tolden me they'd been a-looking, a-shouting, and a-bawlin' for mine attention and received nary a word in reply from me good self at all. T'were as if I were in a trance to me muses and drew inside o' the magical box o' artistry!


Me first thought were this; I's making a representation of an army, o' a force and if armies have anything, it is consistency, right? You can tell a rat's a rat even if you can only see 'is pinkie tail, see? Had to be that you could see one of me pieces and know, right off the bat's head, that this is Empyraeum, see? Colour schemes be obvious but wee details and finer points a-well are important.


As youse can see here, we have a Kalshodar, an epibatoi, a Navy pilot, an army Hoplite, yer man Lupernikes, an' yer fella Neshaa. There're a good many differences tween 'em all but youse can see that these fellas are all soldiers of Alexander easy enough. Different colours, like, different bits and different specialisations but they be conrades each to their fashion. There is consistent ellymints to each of them, see? This rat is brown, that rat is piebald, t'other rat is half bald but they're still all rats, see? Not like I'd compare any o' them fine gennelmen to a rat, like, but you get the picture do you not?


Now, I encourage to have a good wee look at yon video up above the shiny website the very best of joint dwarf and goblin ingenuity could produce and have a deeper look for yourself.


It's common sense that different types of Empyrean armour would have similar elements and manufacturing processes involved in them. That Kalshodar armour is simply an improved and heavier version of Navy and epibatoi armour, also that Dracograth armour is an adaptation and more decorated version of Kalshodar armour. In any society which is churning out bits, and parts, and replacements in a time of war or need, standard templates are the ticket, see? You change bits here, make 'em bigger or smaller there, add on a bit or few for look or need on t'other but the basic elements are the same or similar, like, see?


Stands to reason that, in order to mass produce something, you needs to be able to produce a lot of parts at once and vary them as to the specific need. 'Tis what Scratchy and Squinty likes to call context, that. I says it like this; if'n yer fella or lady there be lookin' like they belongs, they fits and me job been done right, see? So, how'd we do it? We standardised too;



This is me "Kalshodar Kit"! Every piece that every model of a Kalshodar or Dracograth can use is here and all we have to do is move them around as needs require. We make sure this 'standard construction' means all Kalshodar and all Dracograth, even Alexander himself, follow a pattern of armour, irrespective of their wee differences. We change the loadouts, we change the colours and decorations, we change the poses and positions but we follow the right pattern always! I has similar templates for epibatoi, hoplites and so forth, as well as all the weapon yon could imagine! Me ole mutha, gods rest 'er, always was saying "dinnae work hard, work clever; goblin clever!" an' I never did forget me that!


Remember that lesson if yon remembers nought else, me fellow artisty type folks; if you're representing a lot of people from a single society or culture, use yer templates and save yon hands and tears a lot a' work!

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